I am here today

 This week felt like a short week of classes but a week full of let downs. I did not do much on the town this week. I did have a movie night with many people at our ministries coordinator’s apartment. We watched it on her rooftop balcony over looking the cathedral and la giralda. It was a very beautiful sight. I was high on sugar last night during that get together. I do not think I have felt like that since my 6^th birthday at Chuckie Cheese’s. I skyped with a lot of people this week. If any of you would like to wake up 5:45 am WI time and chat with me, let me know. It is literally the most convenient time to chat. I am also available from 10a-2p WI time Mon-Thurs (except Wed). To hear the voices from the ones I love meant the world to me. Sacrifice is something I do not look past in friendships, my friends and family lay down a lot for me and I see it continually. Thank you to those I love and to those I am learning more about how to love.

Saying that, I have had an incredibly hard time these last few days with feeling as if my heart is not being heard here. I am having a great time getting to know other people but I feel as if I have found people in my life who ask me and challenge my heart and now I feel lonely in that. To my surprise I have found a heart healer. Can you guess whom I have found? Well, why not my one and only eternal hero and one-man cheering team. I am running the race of life with water of flesh and not water of Him. I look to other to fill me and ask me the questions I don’t like. I struggle daily with not being able to hear my Father. I struggle with my flesh to be okay with no audible voice of my Creator. I am not a patient person to the least and to wait for my path to fold out into reality is SO frustrating. I had a 30 min silent time of Bible reading and journaling frustration to the Lord. We are on good terms and have been my whole saved life but I am being beat with the Lord’s love in a new way that I have not accepted… yet. The Lord does a good work in me and I will chose to follow a Maker who understands my heart even more than anyone I long to talk to.

I went to a Bull Fight tonight. Another day, another post. Until then….